steven liang in taiwan.

japan

2011-02-22T07:39:00.000-08:00

japan subways are like a bee hives. one wrong exit can leave you lost inside for an unimaginable length of time. they are like entire cities underground. everyone in tokyo seemed to walk as if they had a mission. they knew exactly what they were going to do that day, how to get there and do it. wondered--when will i have that caliber of self awareness

Taiwan Sunsets

2010-12-29T00:50:00.000-08:00

Taiwan sunsets are brief, but powerful. Right around four o'clock, everything becomes so much more vibrant. It brightens, yet contrasts. Today I decided to take a short scooter ride around the neighborhood by my school and I saw cranes and an heron floating above rice patties, elderly chatting and strolling, a hidden temple, and a mansion.

The weather was beautiful today. Too bad it will probably rain tonight.

2010-12-24T06:30:00.000-08:00

before a couple gets married, it's popular in china and taiwan for them to take fancy pictures together--to show they are happy and they are beautiful.

i see these pictures every now and again. on the bus train from yilan to taipei, there is a television advertisement for them. the pictures are nicely composed and the settings, costumes, and make-up are fantastic. there are scenes of the man leading the woman in a waltz, the couple riding in a hot air balloon, the couple holding hands in a park.

but it's just a fantasy. it's just make-belief. these pictures are made so that they can show others what a "perfect" relationship they have. underneath the surface, it's all a facade of adulthood--that the couple knows how to love and how to live and how to think for their families. i see these pictures, and i feel a cloud of disappointment because this is exactly the kind of facade my parents want from me. it's a fairy tale that cannot come true.

cool breeze 涼爽的風

2010-10-04T09:02:00.000-07:00

i woke up a tad late this morning. forgot to change my alarm from yesterday's jiaxi hike. skipped breakfast 'cause time was running out...and headed out to my glorious, scenic route to hu shan elementary school. i got there at 8am sharp.

immediately after exiting my apartment doors, i noticed something different. it was colder, yes--quite noticeably cooler than the previous two days (which, by the way, have been a pretty dramatic shift from scorching pre-mid-autumn)... but not only that, something in the air smelled...familiar.

the cool air brought with it a nuanced smell of moist dirt, asphalt roads still under construction, rust, and fresh grass. it smelled like an earlier southern california morning; kids totting their backpacks dutifully heading to school. i was reminded of my elementary school days, and the mornings where my mother made me 粥 and where i enthusiastically headed to school fifteen minutes before the school bell to chat with my friends--about whatever.

rain and thunder

2010-09-30T06:00:00.000-07:00

rain and thunder in yilan right now.

mid-autumn festival has just passed so the temperature has dropped significantly from scorching hot to cool.

it's a drastic and rapid shift.

the little hairs on my arms have been raised all day.

and the mosquitoes are multiplying.

i am glad i decided to stay home tonight.

目前在宜蘭下超大雨，閃電霹靂聲音非常地吵。

中秋節剛過了，而溫度聰火辣變成很涼爽。

是個很國際，突然的轉折。

--

what a great day.

spoke with the special education teacher at Da Hu, one of my elementary schools and learned about the countryside/city disparity in special ed.

spoke to the farmer at Er Hu, a famous pineapple plantation by Da Hu. we talked about everything--taiwanese vs american women, attitudes towards the mainland, attitudes towards america, my family, their family, school gossip, farming pineapples

rainbow at turtle island

2010-09-12T08:24:00.000-07:00

I live and teach in Yilan County, a one-hour bus ride south of Taipei. I live in Yilan City and work in Yuanshan Township. This is Turtle Island. It can be seen pretty much anywhere off the coast of Yilan and it is open only a few months out of the year due to environmental protection efforts. By the way, Yilan County is known for it's beautiful scenery, clean water, and environmental protection efforts. While it may be close to Taipei City, this scenic county offers a stark contrast to the hustle, bustle, and smog of Taipei.

a common sighting: people sleeping on train rides.

2010-09-05T03:06:00.003-07:00

my first post in taiwan

2010-08-30T08:06:00.000-07:00

i've been here for a month and this is just my first post. very successful updating indeed.

i haven't had much time, really.

today was the first day of work. it far exceeded my expectations. i <3 taiwan.

i made 64 english name tags and assigned about 20 new english names.

Uh. Oh.

2010-07-28T18:36:00.000-07:00

I GUESS I'M GOING TO HAVE TO BRUSH UP ON MY CHINESE ON THE PLANE...

los angeles, not for me, not now.

2010-07-24T23:28:00.000-07:00

June second, Wednesday

Little Tokyo. I am eating dinner at Curry House. I seem to be the only one who came alone. I poured myself tea just now, just like I did several times in my dorm room while I was in College (except, I paid 2 dollars for the entire box of tea, not just a single tea bag). I think about how great it would be to be able to pour tea for more good company in Taiwan.

Sitting across to my right are a group of twenty-somethings. They’re hard to miss. They are the largest group here and are making quiet a ruckus. I bet they’re already drunk. They are probably co-workers, or good friends.

Surprisingly, accidentally, serendipitously, today was a good day. Los Angeles is a beautiful city. I ate lunch at home. I watched some more T-dramas.

The tea is not too hot, not too cold.

Aaron messaged me. He had the day off and asked if I wanted to hang out , I hadn’t seen him in a while, thought that it would be nice to accompany him; drove all the way (in traffic) to the West side and had shaved ice with him. Mediocre shaved ice, but exceptional company.

Then came a candid, scenic, trafficky drive to the East side, where I visited Christian to pick up my beloved camera. I had left it in her car the night before—filled with drunken partying.

While Angelino drivers braked, yielded, signaled, and accelerated like ants, mechanical, I pondered. Los Angeles is my home. I find a special sense of comfort here. There is something magnificent about the monolithic skyscrapers that is manifested as the symbol of LA, especially during the magic hour. The sky was clear. The air felt soft and cool against my skin. Pop music.

However, I cannot settle for a nice cubicle-office-reserved parking-elevator-morning espresso-air conditioned—type job. Not yet. Part of me feels like these skyscrapers, as blindingly lustrous as they are, were not built for me. Part of me, feels like for the time being, I am meant to be a vagabond of the world, a searcher, a student, a dancer in the dark.

On the way to the East side, I also imagined, that if my father were wiser, what kind of words he would tell me. It had something to do with traffic. He would say, “You cannot beat traffic, no matter how many times you swerve in and out of lanes. Someone will always be ahead of you and someone will always be behind you. Either way, you are on your way to your destination. We all are.”

Curry House. To the right of me is a couple (or siblings) talking about life’s mundane tasks. Errands they have to run. The couple is “grown up”- looking. I wonder if I will end up in restaurants when I’m “grown up” talking about mundane things.
Taiwan, I'm ready.

Ethan Ruan

2010-05-27T17:39:00.001-07:00

I think Ethan Ruan, a Taiwanese actor, is one of the sexiest men alive. Everything about him is fine, fine, FINE. Also, he does a great job of playing really excellent boyfriends in such dramas as "Wayward Kenting." Today I went to the park for another jog and I got to thinking. I love film for many reasons and as a media theorist, I understand film as an oversimplification, often an idealization of reality. This is precisely why I believe film has the power to shift the world as it is, to a world as it should be; and, it is an excellent predictor of where popular culture is progressing to. Hollywood and Asian dramas spend so much money on media works that send the message that love it worth the pain; that one day you (and me) too can find the love of our lives...and actors like ETHAN RUAN do a great job of convincing us that these messages are true and apply to our real lives!

But I am very eager to ask these questions to Ethan Ruan (or other romantic comedy actors, or folks who have been in successful long-term relationships): Does true romance exist? How do you make it happen? How does it happen?

Being involved in the gay community for quite some time (not only being in friend circles but also, of course, DATING), it's rare to find couples who have been together for a very long time. Further, often times when you see long-term relationships, partner commitment levels... well... waver. And I have to say THIS: no matter how much I think SEX is great, no matter how many sexual partners I may enjoy screwing around with, I absolutely, whole-heartedly, want to find this thing called ROMANCE and this thing called LOVE.

So how do I do it? And do it exist?

The Park in my Hood, only in my Hood

2010-05-24T23:28:00.000-07:00

I went to Almansor Park today to do a feel laps. I got to thinking--how there is really no place else like this: the folks playing baseball are Chinese, but are native Spanish speakers; a man sitting underneath the gazebo plays an ancient Chinese instrument I forgot the name of; guys playing basketball, jacked ABC's, old folks, and a woman wearing sandals, jog around the track. The weather was perfect today. If only I had my camera.

粱

Taiwan Sky

2010-05-03T23:09:00.000-07:00

Around My Hood

2009-12-27T01:10:00.001-08:00

Fieldbook Assignment #2

2008-10-08T02:44:00.000-07:00

A Photo Essay of Peking University

(Click on photo for larger view)

Peking University, founded in 1898, is the oldest institution of higher learning in China. The university has kept its original English name of “Peking” as not to confuse it with the numerous other universities with the word, “Beijing” in it. I decided to take photographs of the older architecture on campus not only because it is the most beautiful architecture on campus (and arguably the most beautiful architecture of all Chinese universities), but also because it symbolizes that the role of PKU as an institution for progress has not changed with time.

In 1904 PKU sent 47 students to study abroad for the first time. Since then, PKU’s role in China has been a place for the “old to meet the new” and for new ideas to be exchanged. Peking University was the birthplaces of such progressive events such as the 1919 May 4th movement, which set the stage for the questioning of traditional Chinese institutions and values such as Confucianism and the Tienanmen Square Protest of 1989 which demanded for a more democratic society. This photograph of figures in Taiji positions represents the merging of new ideas with the old because even in this modern time, Taiji is a big part of PKU student life. It also has a “come-hither” gesture, representing PKU’s receptiveness to new ideas.

This pagoda, which is often considered the symbol for PKU, was once used as a water tower. It is now an ornament that lights up at night. It sits looming like a monolith over the weiming lake on the center of campus.

Though PKU is the academic center for progress, some things remain unchanged, such as the distinct administrative hierarchy. This photograph was taken in the administrative area of campus by the Chancellor’s office. This stone pillar, with carvings of dragons, symbolizes elitism.

PKU, also one of the most prestigious universities in China and the world, is distinguished for its famous alumni and associates. Mao Zedong, at age 20, worked at PKU as an assistant to the librarian. While on campus, he wrote about Marxism in newspapers and magazines, questioning teacher’s authorities. This photograph is of West Gate and contains the sign of the university’s name written by Chairman Mao.

A Fieldbook Assignment

2008-09-25T03:39:00.001-07:00

Dear Friend,
Before arriving in Beijing, I traveled to Guangdong with my mother for about a week. I primarily stayed within Kaiping, where both my parents are from and visited their ancestral villages. I met distant relatives that I do not remember meeting before and also visited my father’s businesses with the guide of my father’s friends/business partners. It was at the crux of my interactions with these two communities that left me feeling conflicted—with my distant cousin I ate cheap, delicious food from the street and strolled around Kaiping in a Chinese car while with my father’s friends, we ate at upscale restaurants and received massages. In short, I was not sure what it meant to be American nor what it meant to be Chinese. I know that being American gave me privilege—a privilege that I did not deserve and I knew that being Chinese gave me a secure box to fit into but a box I did not necessarily identify with either. These thoughts stayed with me as I started a new chapter as an international student at Beijing University—Beijing Da Xue.
Arriving in Beijing I suppose I’d have to say the first thing one would notice is the differences in driving habits of Beijingers versus Americans. The Chinese here do not necessarily obey lane lines and squeeze through tight corners a whole lot more often. The biggest differences for me, though, is that they do not yield for pedestrians and though to this day I still feel fluttered when a car honks at me to get out of the way, I suppose Guangdong, with its fewer people and thus fewer cars, has desensitized me to this. I have accepted it has part of the culture and it does make a whole lot of sense when I think of the larger scheme of things. The Chinese seem very flexible in their social relations and a whole lot more spontaneous. Even the government bargains—as with the fee for violating the One Child Policy. In the States, however, I feel that we are very strict about keeping to set rules and having a schedule. Therefore, it is not a surprise that we obey lane lines and yield for pedestrians. This one notion, of accepting behaviors that may appear strange as “culture” stayed with me throughout and my experiences on a scavenger hunt was an example of this.
After a few days of moving in and participating in orientation activities, I was paired up with Sarah Ting, a Shanghainese and Anglo-Saxon who goes to Swarthmore College. We took the subway closest to Beijing University to Tiananmen Square, where we explored the Square, the Forbidden City, and explored a close-by Hutong, or old-style alleyways with homes and shops before taking a taxi back on campus. I would have to say that I was not as overwhelmed as I expected. Though I was in Communist China and that Tiananmen was at the center of government power, there were also lots of Waiguo Ren (outsiders) touring the place along with Chinese. There were several signs with the Olympic slogan “One World One Dream” along with a large float celebrating the Paralympics, so as a semi-outsider, and as an American, I did not feel uncomfortable.
Before I digress, the Square is absolutely beautiful, despite the sea of tourist and street vendors. The architecture was just what I had expected—massive in size and bright in colors with a large scale portrait of Mao Zedong hanging like a monolith. Speaking of Mao, throughout my stay in China, Mao’s presence cannot be ignored—from the pictures printed on the Yuan to the portraits in shops and restaurants, Mao remains a strong symbol of nationalistic pride. Walking around and witnessing the sea of Chinese, the mix of the old with the new (Hutongs, street vendors and cars, high-rises), soldiers (both friendly and not), bottomless children (running around or taking a number-one with the guidance of their parent), I admit that I did feel proud for China. Before I left for China, I had dinner with my father where he had congratulated me because I am going to China, where his heart still remains, and of all places, Beijing, the Capitol that he himself have not visited.
Before leaving for China I had read that although China has the second largest economy in the world, it is also the third most unequal country according to the Gini Coefficient. In short, China has a very large divide between rich and poor. Just like visiting my extended family versus visiting my father’s friends, exploring the Tiananmen area, I easily stepped from a world of modernization and luxury to an older world that is not as dependent on new money and new technology. Having my lunch at the Hutong was an example of this. It is amazing and almost seems impossible, but amongst the high-rises, the cars, and the tourism of Tiananmen, Hutongs lay quietly throughout. Entering the Hutong was like entering a different world—the homes are small and quaint and the people are much simpler in dress and lifestyle. For example, middle-aged men played cards with one another while enjoying beers. Stray cats and dogs were found candidly everywhere.
Entering the small but busy restaurant where Sarah and I decided to have lunch, however, I realized that tourism doesn’t remain within the realm of Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City. Just when I told the shufu that we could not read the Chinese menu, he quickly took it away and gave us an English menu with much more expensive prices. It was four kuai for one bowl of mi fan whereas the original was only one kuai. I asked the shufu if the Chinese menu was as expensive as the English one. He then offered us the original prices. Overall, though, it was a fun experience and the shufu and another restaurant worker were a jolly pair delightful to have broken conversations with. Sarah ordered a vegetable dish for ten kuai while I ordered a spicy pork dish for 16 kuai. Plus the two bowls of mi fan it came out to be 28 kuai total. Before we left, we even posed in a picture with the workers.
During my earlier stay in Guangdong, I had an argument with my mother. I told her about how frustrated I was that I did not understand the Chinese language and blamed her for not teaching me. I said that she still speaks to me like a child and therefore my vocabulary and syntax is like that of a child. I told her that in America, I do not feel quite American and in China I do not quite feel Chinese. She told me to be more happy—in China, I should be less stressed. Later, she told me that when I am in Beijing, I should also be more happy. I feel that the mentality she wants me to achieve is that of a tourist.
Truthfully, I am not a tourist nor do I want to be. I cannot just pick and choose the part of Chinese culture and society that I enjoy while leaving the rest of it behind because I am Chinese. However, because of my limitations due to growing up American, at times it is easier to separate myself from the crowd and stand behind that podium of American privilege. I am uncertain as to what to make of my experiences during the scavenger hunt but I can say is that I have a much more complicated view that most. In a sense I can see from the perspective of a Chinese, an American, a student and I am deeply looking forward to what is to come, whether it be more evidence of the class divide like Tiananmen and the Hutong or differences in cultures like car-driving and the people, or a multiplicity of traditions.

Gate 120

2008-09-03T04:26:00.000-07:00

August 31st, 2008
LAX, Gate 120 to Hong Kong

A few days ago I Skyped with a friend who was hours away from leaving her house toward the airport, where she would leave the States to Andorra for a year to begin her journey as a Fulbright Scholar. Just last night I went to the going-away dinner of a high school friend who will in one week leave for one year in Scotland. Less than two weeks ago I returned to California from an entire summer interning in Washington D.C.
Now, I am waiting in front of Gate 120 at the Tom Bradley International Airport for my 14 hour flight to Hong Kong and Guangzhou, where I will stay until the 10th, when I will begin my Fall semester at Beijing University. Cantonese and Mandarin are spoken all around me and the people come in so many different shapes, sizes, and shades. Right now I am sitting next to two vulgar-tongued Toisan men who remind me of my maternal grandfather and his sons.
It’s so funny how people and places change so quickly and drastically. The people you once knew are not the same. So many people are leaving the country and exploring new horizons—it’s a wonderful thing. Taking a look back now, I can say that there have been a lot of changes in my life as well. It’s difficult to outline them all specifically and in great detail, but what I can point out is that there are things have stayed the same. I am still looking for new ways to improve myself and expand my horizons. I am still eager to remain politically active and socially conscious. I believe that this election year is one of the most important ones in my life and one that I have waited eight years to participate in. I need to get more informed of the propositions in California and it will be a wonderful day when Obama takes his seat at the Oval Office.
There is so much I hope to accomplish during my stay in China. I can hope to achieve all of these things but I know room for flexibility is a necessity. I hope to take in Hong Kong and see new things—since I am going with my mom I will see where that takes me and trust in her in making my time there worthwhile. I am curious to see how the culture and the fashion is there and hopefully leave being able to say—“Hong Kong is…” When I am in Guangzhou and Kaiping, I need to speak to all the folks I will meet there—family friends and relatives and take in everything they have to say. I cannot wait to see where my parents grew up and where my grandparents lived. I need to make sure that this is documented on film.
Being in Beijing will be a trip—not really knowing the language and not really knowing what to expect of the atmosphere there, but it seems like I have been preparing myself. This summer I hung out with a few friends who spoke primarily Mandarin. Just today, I met a few friends of a friend and we had tea together. I didn’t understand most of what they had to say but I could say that I enjoyed their company. Hopefully it will be the same with the Chinese in Beijing and they will be helpful in guiding my language improvement.
When I begin my semester I look forward to meeting new people and improving my Chinese. I think it will be a big challenge and I will try my best not to get sidetracked. I also look forward to improving my awareness of the politics of the world by reading and reeducating myself on gay and lesbian history. One of the biggest impediments to my social and physical advancement has been time-management. I’m usually a terrible time-manger because I don’t like to be hindered or tied-down by a schedule. Hopefully my semester in Beijing will allot me time for self-improvement. I will go to the gym more often and find a work-out buddy to go with. As I have been telling people, when I come back “you won’t recognize me”.
I am especially looking forward to my independent study, fieldwork and a documentary project on how HIV/AIDS affect gay men in Beijing. It is difficult to generalize about the “gay community” but it will be interesting to compare that community in China to the community in the States. It will be a real experience getting to know gay Beijingers and the struggles and accomplishments of their lives given Beijing’s socio-political climate.
I think that I will have a different view than most people going on the same program. I grew up in a suburban Chinatown so I can say that “China” has always been with me—in the stores I frequent and in the people I meet. But this “China” has always been an imagined China. I was four the last time I was there. It will be an experience to get to know China as it is and in that sense I hope better understand myself and my community as a whole.

Liang Jun Jie

Until We Meet Again

2008-08-04T23:12:00.001-07:00

This entry is dedicated those folks who have made an impact, big and small, on me. Until we meet again, we will stay connected through love... or Facebook.

You haven't been seeing me for a little while now and most likely, you won't see me for a long while. I have been in DC for nearly three weeks now. After DC, I will be home for about a week before leaving for a semester to study abroad at Beijing University. When the school year ended, I spent about a month at home before leaving for my internship in Washington DC. That month home is one of the most memorable months I've had. Knowing that I had a limited amount of time in California, I decided I had to move quickly--see as many people, go to as many places, do as many things. It was without a doubt cramped but fantastic all at once.

I spent countless trips eating out with friends. I had exciting little summer flings with hotties. I marched in the Los Angeles Pride parade; I have been doing so since freshman year of high school. I had a few trips to the gay club (now that I am in DC I realize how greatly I took for granted LA clubs). I spent a weekend hanging out in San Diego with one of my best buddies--walking on the beach, taking in the gay scene, fun times at the clubs, not so fun times at the gas pump. And most importantly, I had the chance to spend time with family. I took my brother to Knott's Barry Farm and I noticed how fast he is growing up. I don't think I can ever get used to the fact that he is growing up and it will be hard to let go. I visited my cousin in Irvine--had great meals and shopping with her. I saw my sister graduate and still cannot get over the fact that she's an adult and I will remain forever protective.

I am in Washington DC now in the Northwest district in an area called Friendship Heights, or what the director of my internship calls, "Friendship Whites." It's ritzy and glamglam with surprisingly modest homes. It's interesting because it's like suburbia and metropolitan all in one. There is a LV, Gucci, Dior, etc down the street--so there you have it, nothing too interesting, 'nough said about the area. I am living in a four bedroom, one basement, two story house. I live in the basement with a Pomona graduate. We have our own restroom, shower, and separate entrance, which is cool. I live with five other girls from the University of Virginia, Cornell, Reed, University of Florida, and University of Michigan. I can safely say we get along just fine and are drama free. I mean, how much drama can happen with a straight guy who has a girlfriend and a gay guy?

I am interning at the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. My first week there was fabulous--I was introduced to my basic tasks and many things fell within the areas of my interests. It felt a little upity at first--men always wore a shirt and a tie. I work on the 9th floor of the 10 story building. I write articles for their newsletter, draft press releases, have my own research project, and get to watch hearings and Commission meetings. More notably, the EEOC has formed an Asian American Pacific Islander work group focusing on bringing about awareness of Asian American issues within the federal sector. So, they talk about issues such as glass ceiling, model minority myth, discrimination-- things that we talk about in Asian American Studies, but much more grounded and applied, specifically to the federal workplace. It's interesting to see the contesting, contrasting views of "diversity" by these different government employees and a little unsettling too because sometimes the dialogue came dangerously close to revolving around liberal multiculturlist thought.

The politics in the office is interesting too--because there is suppose to be none. Isn't that odd? As a government agency, the EEOC is suppose to be politically neutral. I can say this much--not everyone agrees with each other. Republicans and democrats try to play nice with each other because they must. It's rather amusing. I am most excited about my independent research project, which will focus on Asian Americans and employment law. I will provide an overview of issues relating to AAPI's and the workplace (workplace discrimination, garment work, human trafficking, undocumented labor) and legislation that protects employees. I will conclude with suggestions for policy and programs that will attempt to remedy these issues.

Washington DC is wonderful. Everything is within reach via metro. Shops are fun, restaurants are good (except Asian food) and affordable, and it's pretty. I actually don't mind the humidity and rather enjoy the random showers. Clubs could be better though. I went a straight club called Ibiza (like he Spanish island). The facility was nice. A Chinese couple owns it and it is a pretty mixed crowd--although I have to say men definitely outnumbered women. I didn't have a comfortable experience there though. I went with a new crowd, boys-girls even. I knew the women and barely the men. They assumed I was straight and when you enter the world of straight men--I'm telling you, it's a whole other world with confusing lingo and gestures. I won't go too deep into that. But my point is, I don't think I should have to come out to new people all the time. Straight people never have to come out to me. Straight clubs aren't labeled "straight" clubs. Also, although I see cases when this may lie appropriate, I don't want folks to justify my behavior based solely upon my sexuality. Anyway, from the nature of this internship program to the woman who asked me to show her how to speak Cantonese, to the man who tried to speak to me in Mandarin, and to the man who asked me if I knew Kung Fu, I am always reminded that I am Asian here.

The following week I went to a gay club, APEX. It was fun, but incomparable to the clubs I have been to in LA. It was small, old, and the music was the good 'ole popular hip hop but mixed in boring, redundant beats--all in a room so crowded you had trouble breathing. I met and befriended two deaf guys, which was fun. They had masters in education and knew how to dance based on the feel of the base. DC also has wonderful Ethiopian food and I had a blast visiting the Monuments and Memorials. It really hit home for me then because I had only seen these places in text books and on money but never in real life. It was nice to stand at the Lincoln memorial where Dr. King gave his I HAVE A DREAM speech. Seeing the memorials made me think of how American politics has historically been and continues to be homogenous where a select few are represented and where many are silenced but also how privileged I am and dare I say it--how despite learning about racial formation theory, neoliberalism, the prison industrial complex, environmental racism, I am still patriotic and believe that I have a role and must act based on my privileges and resources.

I am always reminded of home. The hilarious Black women in my office remind me of one of my good friends from Pitzer. The children at the Smithsonian Zoo remind me of my brother. The woman who took my order at the Pan-Asian restaurant reminded me of my mother. The Director of my office reminds me of my father. The old woman who walked across L street with a cane reminded me of my grandmother. The interns in the house remind me of the community I had growing up--the sense of belonging and of solidarity.

I can say that I am learning a lot. I can now cook rice and vegetables. Being at a federal agency, I get a sense of how administrative government works--how complicated and tedious it is to work up the bureaucracy. It's all pretty fascinating to me and has made me consider studying administrative law. Many of the Brown Bag lunches and leadership workshops have been insightful. The session on undocumented students brought to light the injustices of a broken system and made me think that though I may feel displaced and racialized, undocumented folks deal with those same issues but additionally, they face legal persecution and injustice. The law has jurisdiction to treat them as criminals when they have done nothing wrong.

New buddy or old buddy--thanks for sticking around and I look forward to seeing ya'll in the Spring. I will be asking for stories.

Muah!! <3